SOTU 2014

Sad day all around. Pete Seeger is dead and The Prez will be giving his State of the Union Address while the people who ran on jobs, jobs, jobs but only worked 126 days last year will clap or not clap based on their party affiliation and not on the merits or dis-merits of what he says.

You can watch it on C-SPAN, beginning at 9 PM, east coast time.

There are several drinking games available out there. I like this one:

Take a shot…
…for every “State of the Union Drinking Game” article you’ve opened today.
…if Obama says: “The state of the union is strong.”
…if Obama says: “Jobs,” “deficit,” or “inequality.”

Eat one of those tiny bottle-shaped chocolates filled with liquor…
…if a Fox News host or pundit lambastes the president’s “recycled ideas” or “bully pulpit.”
…if an MSNBC host or pundit fawns over the president’s “legacy” or “vision.”

Take a swig of liquor…
…if Obama says: “Let me be clear.”
…if an Obama “uhhh” lasts more than two seconds. (Keep drinking for every second after two.)
…if a conservative pundit attacks Jason Collins on Twitter during the speech
…if Obama mentions the government shutdown.

Drink some tea…
…if Obama mentions Syria or Iran.

Chug a beer…
…if Obama mentions gun violence.
…if cameras cut away to Sean Hannity in the gallery.
…for every second of every standing ovation. Do not remove the beer from your lips until the last clap dies down.
…if a Fox pundit mentions “European-style socialism” in his/her post-game analysis.

(more at the link)

Bye Bye Pete. I will certainly miss you.

Occupy the State of the Union

State_of_the_UnionHappy Mardi Gras (or Shrove Tuesday) and State of the Union Day! Please pull up a plate of pancakes (or bowl of popcorn) and join me for our annual heckling of the SOTU.

Sadly, our Uppity is still ill and won’t be able to join us for this evening’s festivities. I am certain this is among her top three regrets in life. FWIW, she does give this occupation her blessing.

Salon’s complaining that the SOTU is ineffectual.

State of the Union addresses from newly reelected second-term presidents are full of grand plans that never amount to anything, like George W. Bush’s Social Security privatization and Harry Truman’s sad, doomed “Fair Deal.”

But whatever the president proposes, no matter how convincing his arguments, the nation’s domestic policy agenda over the next year will be set not by him but by a handful of people — some of them crazy people — in Congress. And Congress doesn’t really care what the president wants.

Mitch McConnell doesn’t sound too optimistic:

…parts of the president’s speech that have been reported seem to him to be “another litany of left-wing proposals with plenty of red meat for the president’s base.”

Since you can bring your friends to these things, Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) is bringing Newtown’s First Selectman [sic], Pat Llodra. (That would be MY First Selectman—who is a Republican that I have voted for and would vote for again and again because she is competent.) Here’s the guest list for the entire CT delegation.

To keep things fair and balanced, Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) is bringing Ted Nugent as his guest. Ted’s a real classy guy.

Last year, [Nugent] told National Rifle Association members that “I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year” if the president was re-elected. He has also called Obama a “piece of shit” who should “suck on my machine gun.”

Who won’t be there? Energy Secretary Steven Chu is the designated survivor and will not attend the State of the Union.

The address begins at 9 PM EST on all the major networks, cable news channels, and CSPAN. Politico will have live streaming. The White House is offering an “enhanced version” with charts and graphs. Be warned, Anonymous plans to hack the SOTU address and keep it off the InterTubes until it’s over. The cable channels also have preempted their pre-SOTU pundit events, which I’m sure will be would have been insightful and informative. (gag) You can follow along on Twitter with #sotu.

If you make it through the whole thing, the Address will be followed by two rebuttals: one from Marco Rubio and the other from Rand Paul. (Like good cop/bad cop–you decide which is which.)

I don’t have a drink (or eat) word, so please suggest one. I’m still hoping that Scalia lifts his robe and BO throws him some beads.

Party Games

AAARRGH!!!  Where’s My Loot?!

The Preezy of the United Steezy turned 51 on Saturday, and boy is he doing it up big this year! Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum Cristal! He’s not even making a pretense of running the country or trying to scare up a few jobs. He’s instead opting to host fundraisers and suck up to all of his rich donors instead.  Like he accuses Mitt Romney of doing.  But don’t take my word for it. The New York Daily News had this to say:

President Obama marked his 51st birthday Saturday with a quiet round of golf – but revealed plans to celebrate it next weekend with a big bucks fundraiser.
Obama, playing golf for the 104th time since taking office, hit the links at Andrews Air Force base before departing for a night away at Camp David.
But next Sunday he will be in Chicago, hosting dozens of donors – some contest winners – at the First Family’s longtime home in Hyde Park.  SOURCE

The article goes on to say how his loyal, long-suffering and equally selfless spouse is doing her part to make sure he fleeces all of his young (and now unemployed) 2008 lemmings donors can still stay in the game, even if  they’re not as rich as George Clooney or Anna Wintour.

Let The Games Begin!

I’ve been wondering about the party games that were planned for this festive, week long spree, and I think I might have found a few that aren’t too far off the mark.

Many donors will bring their children, if only for a great photo-op in the anticipated media blitz of sickeningly sweet photos that are sure to follow.

The “You Didn’t Build A Bear” workshop will keep them quiet while the adults are being fleeced, and the distraction will keep the meds out of their milk.

This little game can keep the kids out of your hair as well as brainwash them into believing that there’s nothing to look forward as long as they keep donating their tooth fairy money to OFA.  It is also the perfect tie-in to what looks like this elections favorite talking point, so I think its a win-win.

Ahoy, Matey!  We’re Still Broke!  Time for a BIG LIE!!

Next we have “Composite Kiss And Tell”, which also shows consistency on Preezy’s part. He’s been ‘splaining that all of his characters in his bio, speeches and entire lifetime are “composite characters” that represent the true America (i.e. his vision of America, like his lovely story “The LIfe of Julia” which I will not link for fear of a trip to the gulag).

So far, Harry Reid has kicked this one off with his lie about Mitt Romney not paying a dime in taxes for 10 years, which has breathed new life into a tired meme that nobody really gives a shit about (see: “We need to see tax returns from your first paper route”)

When Romney’s running mate is announced, you can fully expect a phony sex scandal or two (unless its Pawlenty, who nobody would ever sleep with because he just has no edge). They won’t mention him by name, of course, but will cunningly describe a “Governor of Minnesota who shall remain nameless that can bore you to death so he can take advantage of your lifeless body” or something like that.  All very carefully worded to ensure plausible deniability during the firestorm that Romney’s rapid response team is sure to deliver.

 A Party Game For All To Play!

Pin the Fail on the Donkey.  Nothing like a little bit of good, old fashioned Americana to keep the party going.  Perfect for members of either party, and short term memory loss is no obstacle.  Just blindfold yourself, listen to a pre-recorded Obama campaign speech until your head spins and pin one of the pre-printed tails on the donkey.  Choose from the following fabulous fails:

Stimulus Package
Fast & Furious

So come and party with Barack and Michelle this week.  You’re probably not working anyway, and it sure beats just sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop.


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