Hi everybody. Uppity here, taking a moment off between setting off security alarms in airports to tell you a story…
A number of years ago I frequented a deli that roasted their own turkey breasts and sold them sliced by the pound for a thief’s ransom. I paid the ransom and so did plenty of other people. Do you know why I paid the ransom? Because it was the best damned turkey EVER. God, I miss that extortionist who could roast a turkey better than my mother did. And that’s saying a lot, because that woman could roast a turkey..
The owner of that deli had a sign up that said:
We know other delis charge less for their turkey. They know what their stuff is worth.
Donald Trump makes more for paid speeches than anybody on that list, but that’s really okay because he’s got a dick. has mastered the art of bankruptcies while being held harmless, and he possesses a big mouth. Condoleeza Rice does pretty damned well herself at $150k for the pleasure of her company–but then she is a former Secretary of State and that is worth something, right? Right?. Take your time to think about that. I’ll wait.
Tim Geithner still garners $200k per speech, which probably includes free advice on how to evade taxes. Ben Bernanke, that other thief, makes up to $400k per speech. That’s twice what Hillary makes and all he ever did was help to f*ck the middle class as quickly as possible and send our money to Wall Street. (Do not pass up clicking on that link).
Dick Cheney only gets $75k per speech, but don’t feel too badly for him. He more than made up for it with all those Halliburton Iraq contracts. Sarah Palin makes $100k per speech, which is obviously a travesty because she’s achieved so much more and has done so much more for America in her lifetime than Hillary has. Everybody knows this, right? Right? I mean she was, after all, a mayor and a governor. And she DID run for Vice President and lose, and….and….
Jeb gets $50k.
Well boys, don’t be blaming Hillary because people know what Newt and Mitt or Jeb are worth to them. You might say they are the “Other deli’s turkey”.
Now, if Newt could get paid by the pound like the turkey he is, he would probably do much better. More to the point, if these three guys had any dignity left, they would be embarrassed to note that Bernie Sanders makes nearly as much for a speech as they do.
Hillary commands better fees because she’s more sought after, more popular, and people find her infinitely more interesting to listen to–whether you like it or not. People want to hear what she has to say roughly 3-4 times more badly than they want to hear Newt, Jeb or Mitt. Stop and reflect upon that for a moment and then try to tell me you don’t grasp Why. Go ahead. Take your time. I’ll wait.
When you sell your house, do you know what it’s worth? I’ll tell you what it’s worth: It’s worth exactly what others are willing to pay for it. Get it, Mitt? Jeb? Anybody? Anybody?