On Deli Turkey and Paid Speeches

Hi everybody. Uppity here, taking a moment off between setting off security alarms in airports to tell you a story…

A number of years ago I frequented a deli that roasted their own turkey breasts and sold them sliced by the pound for a thief’s ransom. I paid the ransom and so did plenty of other people. Do you know why I paid the ransom? Because it was the best damned turkey EVER. God, I miss that extortionist who could roast a turkey better than my mother did. And that’s saying a lot, because that woman could roast a turkey..

The owner of that deli had a sign up that said:

We know other delis charge less for their turkey. They know what their stuff is worth.

So it goes for paid speeches.

Donald Trump makes more for paid speeches than anybody on that list, but that’s really okay because he’s got a dick. has mastered the art of bankruptcies while being held harmless, and he possesses a big mouth. Condoleeza Rice does pretty damned well herself  at $150k for the pleasure of her company–but then she is a former Secretary of State and that is worth something, right? Right?. Take your time to think about that. I’ll wait.

Tim Geithner still garners $200k per speech, which probably includes free advice on how to evade taxes. Ben Bernanke, that other thief, makes up to $400k per speech. That’s twice what Hillary makes and all he ever did was help to f*ck the middle class as quickly as possible and send our money to Wall Street. (Do not pass up clicking on that link).

Dick Cheney only gets $75k per speech, but don’t feel too badly for him. He more than made up for it with all those Halliburton Iraq contracts. Sarah Palin makes $100k per speech, which is obviously a travesty because she’s achieved so much more and has done so much more for America in her lifetime than Hillary has. Everybody knows this, right? Right? I mean she was, after all, a mayor and a governor. And she DID run for Vice President and lose, and….and….

newtimagesNow, poor Newt Gingrich and  poor Mitt Romney only earn around $60k for their speeches.

Jeb gets $50k.

Well boys, don’t be blaming Hillary because people know what Newt and Mitt  or Jeb are worth to them.  You might say they are the “Other deli’s turkey”.

e3rNow, if Newt could get paid by the pound like the turkey he is, he would probably do much better. More to the point, if these three guys had any dignity left, they would be embarrassed to note that Bernie Sanders makes nearly as much for a speech as they do.

CaptureThe bottom line here is:

Hillary commands better fees because she’s more sought after, more popular, and people find her infinitely more interesting to listen to–whether you like it or not. People want to hear what she has to say roughly 3-4 times more badly than they want to hear Newt, Jeb or Mitt. Stop and reflect upon that for a moment and then try to tell me you don’t grasp Why. Go ahead. Take your time. I’ll wait.

When you sell your house, do you know what it’s worth? I’ll tell you what it’s worth: It’s worth exactly what others are willing to pay for it. Get it, Mitt? Jeb? Anybody? Anybody?

More Hard Choices for Hillary

Hillary Clinton joined Instagram today.

Screen shot 2015-06-10 at 3.49.38 PM

Her caption “Hard Choices” was in reference to the choice of red, white or blue pantsuit.

Many Instagrammers were amused, posting comments like “YAAS QUEEN,” “ICONIC,” and “You’re hilarious, I love you,” “my girl can joke,” while others were not amused, writing “No oldsters allowed on Instagram.”

In less than an hour, Clinton has gained almost 10,000 new followers and over 1,000 likes.

Off to follow Hillary on Instagram!

This Is Just One Reason Why I Love The Clintons……

They can laugh at themselves! These are two really brilliant people, but they aren’t preachy or snooty. I thought this video that was made for the 1995 Gridiron Dinner was hilarious! Even though Hillary doesn’t have the most perfect timing or delivery, she’s just goes for it!! Actually, many of the jokes were pretty funny….and those wigs!!!!

So here it is, another way back machine classic:

“Hillary, Hillary Gump”

Back to the Future…..1979

While I bopped along to the Bee Gees in 1979, a young Hillary Rodham gave her first extended interview as First Lady of Arkansas.

This highlight video was the only one I could find on youtube. The full video can be found here. Of course the interviewer had to ask her about her decision to keep her maiden name, saying that showed how “liberal” she was… I loved her response:

“Well, I don’t know about that. Anita Bryant didn’t take her husband’s name either, and I don’t think that she has a liberal image,” said Rodham.

“One gets the impression,” the host noted, “that you’re really not all that interested in state dinners teas and garden parties….” Hillary replied,

“Well that’s not a true impression. I’m interested in everything. I’m interested in social events and civic events, as well as my own professional life..”

He also basically tells her she should quit working and get into the kitchen where she belongs! Okay, he didn’t say it exactly like that…but that’s what he meant.

I have to say, watching Hillary 36 years ago, she hasn’t changed, still as brilliant as ever.

The year was 1979. The top three shows on TV were: 1. 60 Minutes (CBS) 2. Three’s Company (ABC) 3. That’s Incredible! (ABC). The most popular Christmas gift was the Sony Walkman casette/radio Best Film Oscar Winner was Kramer vs. Kramer. The Bee Gees, “Too Much Heaven” was Billboard’s number 1 in January, and “Escape” (The Pina Colada Song), by Rupert Holmes, finished the year off in December. Time’s Man of the Year was Ayatollah Khomeini. In 1979 I could have typed this blog post on this computer:Screen shot 2015-05-17 at 6.00.22 PM. …except there were no blogs…..and no internet.

So Uppityites….a few things have changed. But what about sexism? Have we come a long way sweeties? My Sony Walkman is long gone….and Pina Coladas are too much trouble. Pour yourself a scotch, pull up a chair and tell us what you think.

Happy Mother’s Day and Hillary has famous friends

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Uppity Mothers! (And if you’re so inclined, you can wish Hillary a Happy Mother’s Day too.)

H_mothers_day01

A few celebrity endorsements have come out this week. I say this with full understanding of the roolz: the folks in Hollywood aren’t real people if they like my candidate—only when they like the opposing candidates. Here are some fake people who like Hillary this week.

Helen Mirren: Still for Hill has a post up about Dame Mirren’s endorsement.

George Clooney: pledged to support Hillary Clinton any way he can even though he called her “the most polarizing figure in American politics” in 2008. Apparently, marrying a super-smart woman has done Mr. Clooney a world of good.

Wonder Woman/Lynda Carter: said, “Hillary has my endorsement for all of her life and mine.” She also said, “She can have my Lasso of Truth.”

lynda-carter-wonder-woman418

Nancy Reagan:

The time for a woman to serve as our President has come – really, now is the time – and I think the idea of having a former First Lady as the leader of the free world is really quite a marvelous notion. I want Hillary to win. Even though I admire two of the current potential Republican nominees, I have no interest in seeing either of them lead this
country.

 

This was a hoax, but sounded so believable that Bloomberg fell for it.

This counts as an endorsement in my book:

John Bolton: said Hillary should be disqualified from presidential run.

My favorite endorsement is an old one, from Meryl Streep: who said,I am am actress but she is the real deal.”

 

 

 

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